Questions for My Younger Self

Questions for My Younger Self

“What advice would you give your younger self?”

It’s one of my go-to questions when interviewing experienced athletes, coaches, and leaders. It forces them to look back through their experiences for the most important lessons they learned along the journey.

Except, we don’t actually get to have conversations with our younger selves.

But if I did, I wouldn’t give younger JP advice. To be honest, my younger self wouldn’t listen anyway. So instead, I would ask him questions. I'd ask things like:

• What brings you joy in your sport?

• Why do you sacrifice so much for it?

• What is most important to you?

• What is most difficult for you?

• What would be the worst part of not achieving your goals?

• What could be an upside to not achieving your goals?

• What do you hope to experience on the journey?

• If you are a “somebody” when you win, who are you when you lose?

Why questions? Because far too often as coaches and leaders, we jump straight into "mentor mode." We want to fix the problem. We want to share our wisdom. And yet, as I discussed with Marcia Reynolds—a legend in the world of executive coaching—information alone doesn’t change behavior. Telling people what to do rarely works.

Questions are the door to powerful conversations. If you really want to help people change, get curious, ask great questions, and then stay curious.

—J.P. Nerbun

P.S. If you want to help your athletes find their purpose on the journey, my new book, The Culture Captain is the perfect read. If you want to facilitate powerful, reflective conversations with your athletes, this is the perfect guide. Grab your copy on Amazon, and then download the companion Field Guide at theculturecaptain.net.