The 3 Big Problems of a Lack of Candor in Your Team

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When it comes to teamwork, most people worry about lying—and rightly so. Lying is destructive. But an issue that’s even more prevalent, and equally damaging, is withholding.

Here’s the thing: withholding isn’t the same as lying. Lying involves intentional deception, a deliberate act to distort reality. Withholding, on the other hand, is staying silent—choosing not to share what you observe, think, or feel, often out of fear of rocking the boat. Yet the impact of withholding can be just as harmful as lying, especially within a team.

When we withhold—whether it’s a thought, a feeling, or a fact—it creates three major problems:

1. Energy Drain

Withholding zaps your energy. Think about it: when you hold back something that’s bothering you—whether it’s a concern, an observation, or a feeling—it doesn’t disappear. It lingers, unresolved. These suppressed issues fester over time, often growing worse as the root problem remains unaddressed.

On top of that, staying silent can create an emotional drain. Frustration builds, resentment bubbles up, and the weight of holding it all in leaves you mentally exhausted. When your energy is drained, you’re less effective as a team member, and the problem perpetuates.

2. Disconnection

Staying silent creates distance between you and others. It chips away at trust. When you don’t share what’s on your mind, assumptions and judgments begin to take hold. You might start thinking, “I can’t trust Molly to do her job,” or, “Jim’s only out for himself.”

Here’s the kicker: the other person is often completely unaware of your concerns. Without knowing what’s bothering you, they can’t address the issue. Withholding slowly but surely drives a wedge in the relationship—and the longer it goes on, the harder it becomes to repair that connection. Communication builds trust; withholding destroys it.

3. Declining Performance

Without open, candid feedback, people operate in the dark. I worked with a CEO whose leadership team saw that their CFO was engaging in behaviors that created significant issues for the organization. Everyone knew it, but no one said a word.

For months, the CFO unknowingly undermined his own goal of building trust within the organization. Morale declined, team performance suffered, and the problem grew larger. Finally, someone spoke up, sharing the truth about what the CFO was doing and how it affected others. Once the issue was addressed, the team could take steps to move forward—but much damage had already been done.

As Jack Welch famously said, “The team that sees reality the best wins.” In a culture of withholding, no one sees reality. Silence hides the truth, and without it, the team’s performance—and potential—takes a nosedive.

The Bottom Line

When you withhold, everyone loses. Open, honest communication isn’t a nice to have—it’s a necessity for trust, connection, and high performance. Without it, you’re not just missing opportunities for growth—you’re actively sabotaging success.

So, ask yourself: what truths are you withholding that your team needs to hear? Withholding might feel like the safe option in the moment, but in the long run, it costs far more than it saves. For the health of your team—and your own well-being—it’s time to start speaking up.