Recruiting Principles for Transformational Coaching: Shedding the 3 Fears that Sabotage Recruiting and Retention of Athletes

Bo Schembechler nailed it:

"Miss out on the right guy, he beats you once a year. Recruit the wrong guy, he beats you every day."

We obsess over talent. Rankings. Stats. Highlight reels. The fear of missing "the one."

But the real nightmare? A roster full of mismatches—athletes who clash with your culture, drain your energy, and derail your mission.

Recruiting isn’t just about skill; it’s about fit. Be more afraid of sacrificing your team’s soul for talent than letting the "star" slip away.

Choose culture over clout. Every. Single. Time.

The 3 Fears of Recruiting

1. 1, Losing the Recruit
   Fear of losing a player—whether to another program or the transfer portal—hits hard. But this fear can backfire, leading us to avoid the honest conversations that clearly communicate our vision, values, and high standards.
2. 2. Not Doing Enough
   Recruiting feels endless—more calls, texts, visits, and tournaments. The fear of falling behind competitors can push us into overworking, forgetting that quality often trumps quantity.
3. 3. Missing Out on "That Player"
   The dream recruit—the "game-changer"—can be an obsession. But chasing that big win can blind us, tempting risky decisions that may ultimately harm the program's long-term success.
4. Fear drives poor choices. 

6 Principles for Recruiting and Retention

1. Targeted Recruitment

Recruiting is like "Guess Who"—ask questions to identify who doesn’t fit your program.

• Who DON’T we want? Define the attitudes or traits that clash with your team’s values.
• What matters to the players we do want? Focus on what resonates with the right recruits. Avoid wasting time on tactics that won’t attract them.
• What am I NOT willing to do? Stay true to your principles. For example, one coach prioritized family over attending a recruit’s tournament but explained his reasons, earning the player’s respect and commitment.
• How can I get them to “no” quickly? Be clear about your vision and standards. Players should either connect with your culture or recognize it’s not for them.

This clarity saves time and ensures you build a team aligned with your values

2. Coach, Don’t Sell

Stop selling your program; start coaching. Share player development plans, helpful resources, or personalized feedback. Show recruits how they’ll grow with you.

3. Tell the Kind Truth

Build trust through honesty. Be clear with recruits about their strengths and weaknesses, offering challenges to help them grow. Share their standing in your recruiting pool—transparency shows respect. Finally, be upfront about your program’s limitations. Avoid overpromising; authenticity leaves a stronger, lasting impression than trying to impress.

4. Desperation is Not a Good Look

Show genuine interest, but be comfortable with rejection. Let recruits know you value them, but your program’s success doesn’t hinge on any one player. Avoid assuming you know what’s best for them and never make promises you can’t keep. Get comfortable saying, “We’d love to have you, but we’ll be okay without you.” This approach shows confidence and helps maintain your program’s integrity.

5.  Implement an Assessment System

Talent isn’t just about skill—evaluate a combination of ability, character, and cultural fit. Develop a customized assessment tool to assess recruits based on your program’s needs and the current roster. This system will help you make informed decisions that align with your team’s values and goals. For a practical example, explore the TOC Talent Assessment Tool for Recruiting.

6.  Meet to Learn
   Ask a lot of questions, including basic ones. Get to know their world, their struggles, challenges, needs, and desires. In asking these questions, you might find ways to offer kind truths or help them become more self-aware of things that may be holding them back.

Past

• How did you first fall in love with your sport?
• When did you realize you wanted to play at this level?
• What have you had to sacrifice to get to where you are today?
• What's the best team experience you've ever been a part of?
• Who’s the best coach you’ve ever had, and why?
• What’s something you’ve recently failed at, and what did you learn from it?
• What’s been your biggest setback as a player? How did you respond, and how do you wish you had responded?

Present

• What do you enjoy most about your current team?
• What aspects of your current team are the most challenging for you?
• What’s one thing you’d like to change about your current team?
• Tell me about your role this season. What was your job on and off the field? What was most challenging about it?
• How did your role as a teammate this season positively impact others?
• How have you grown this season compared to previous seasons?

Future

• What do you want to experience by being a part of this team?
• What does “team culture” mean to you?
• We focus on earning roles and playing time. How would you go about earning your spot on the team?
• What would success look like for you if you joined our team?
• What do you need from a coach to help you reach your potential?
• What aspects of practice do you enjoy the most, and which ones do you not enjoy?

Meet to Learn with Parents

• When did you realize [sport] was their passion?
• What’s most important to you as a family regarding your child’s athletic journey?
• What would you like your child to experience with this team?
• How would you like your child to grow through their experience here?
• What specific goals do you have for your child in this program?
• What are their strengths?
• What are their biggest areas of growth?
• Is there anything we should know about your child that we haven’t asked?