You’re Going to Screw Up

In Daniel Coyle’s book, The Culture Code, he discusses the profound power of shared vulnerability in leadership. For some, the word "vulnerability" may cause cringing, suggesting weakness or inviting attack.

But Dave Cooper, a former head of SEAL Team Six—the biggest badasses in the military—says it’s absolutely essential: “You’re looking for that moment where people can say, ‘I screwed that up.’ In fact, I’d say those might be the most important four words any leader can say: ‘I screwed that up.’”

Here is what I am learning: I don't need to wait until I screw up—I know I am going to screw up. I am human. So, why not start with: "I'm going to screw up."

As you put together your commitments and goals for the new year, write it out: I’m going to screw this up.

As you meet with your team and lay out the vision, values, and standards, say it out loud so they can all hear you: I’m going to screw this up.

Tell it to your bosses, your administrators, the sports parents, your kids, and your partner.

Don’t be shy in admitting to yourself and others that you will not be perfect. You know you will not get it right every day. That is not the type of person you are—you aren't pursuing perfection, you are pursuing growth. And you will work hard to learn from each mistake.

When we admit to ourselves and others that we will screw up, we create the conditions for three vital things to emerge:

1. Psychological Safety: You start to create an environment where it is safe to fail—safe for yourself and safe for others to make mistakes.

2. The Vulnerability Loop: You invite people to give you feedback because they know you are committed to getting it right, not being right.

3. A Learning Organization: When you are open to receiving feedback, others are going to be more open to receiving feedback themselves, accelerating growth across the entire group.

As we make new plans and commitments for the new year—for our teams, families, and ourselves—let’s ground expectations in reality and create an environment where failure is not just safe, but expected.

Progress, not perfection.

Buy a copy of my daily Leadership Journal here.

Notes: Coyle, Daniel. The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups (p. 140). (Function). Kindle Edition.