The Real Reason Your Team Isn't Bought In | Episode 454
Podcast accessible on: iTunes | Spotify | YouTube
In this episode, JP, Betsy, and Nate dig into one of coaching’s most used buzzwords: buy-in. Rather than accepting the term at face value, the JP, Nate, & Betsy challenge coaches to get underneath it and ask what’s really being requested when we say we want athletes to be “bought in.”
The conversation moves through several frameworks: the shareholder analogy (what are you actually selling, and what’s the return on investment?), the high-stakes poker table (what’s your minimum buy-in to sit at this team’s table?), and the Shark Tank negotiation model (how do we co-create the deal so everyone maximizes their investment?).
Critically, they also turn the lens back on coaches themselves exploring how personal histories, unconscious narratives, and unchecked emotional triggers can distort how we interpret a player’s level of commitment. The episode closes with Brené Brown’s Five C’s framework as a practical communication tool for rolling out any program or expectation in a way that actually lands with today’s athletes.
Key Takeaways
Buy-in is rarely just compliance: When coaches say they want buy-in, they often mean something deeper: trust, belief, commitment, or alignment. Naming the real need leads to more productive conversations.
Buy-in is rarely just compliance: When coaches say they want buy-in, they often mean something deeper: trust, belief, commitment, or alignment. Naming the real need leads to more productive conversations.
Not every player is all-in and that’s okay: Like shareholders, players invest at different levels. A multi-sport athlete or one with family responsibilities isn’t automatically uncommitted — they may simply have fewer chips at the table.
Establish your minimum buy-in: Every program needs non-negotiable standards (the poker table’s minimum bet). Co-create where possible, but be clear on what the baseline looks like for anyone who wants to be part of the team.
Get curious before jumping to judgment: A player missing a workout isn’t automatically ‘not bought in.’ Curiosity about the real reason — logistics, life circumstances, unclear expectations — leads to better outcomes than a narrative spiral.
Communication over motivation: The five C’s (Color, Context, Connective tissue, Cost, Consequence) help coaches make clear, compelling requests that actually produce follow-through.
Action Items for Leaders
Redefine what buy-in really means for you: If you couldn’t use the word ‘buy-in,’ what would you call it? Is it trust? Commitment? Belief in the system? Getting clear on the real ask helps you communicate it far more effectively.
Audit what you’re selling: Write down what you’re asking athletes to invest in and what the return looks like. Is the ROI clear to them? Use Brené Brown’s Five C’s (Color, Context, Connective tissue, Cost, Consequence) to sharpen any upcoming ask or program rollout.
Set your minimum buy-in standard: Identify the non-negotiables for your program — the minimum chips required to sit at the table. Consider where players have room to co-create how they meet those standards given their individual circumstances.
Examine your buy-in narratives: Write down the last time you felt an athlete wasn’t bought in. Then ask: what’s actually going on? What else could explain that behavior? What story am I telling — and is it accurate?
Look inward at your own triggers: When a perceived lack of buy-in sparks frustration or anger in you, get curious about why. What values are at stake? Where does that reaction come from? This internal work is where lasting coaching growth happens.
Create more space for individual investment: Not every athlete is all-in at the same level. Rather than labeling low-engagement athletes as uncommitted, explore whether there are alternative ways they can contribute to the shared goal with what they have available.
